What Makes You, You? You are Your Own Niche.

Oh hi! It’s you ! So glad you’re here.

Thank you for joining this little portal of self-exploration and experimentation. I am absolutely humbled by the amount of new readers every week and am excited (and often a little emotional to be honest) whenever I get a message sharing how something you’ve read has impacted your day, week or even your general outlook on the world.

So, integrate what resonates, share what may help another, and leave what isn’t for you right now.

Today it’s about YOU.

If you’re tired of tweaking your message to suit an algorithm, or muting your tone to make it more “digestible”... this is a reminder to come home to yourself.

Breathe life back into your work, your words, your way of being.
Not for validation. But for alignment, peace and of course - joy!

The Secret Sauce

There’s something magnetic about people who show up as themselves.

There is a steadiness in the way they move; from their centre. They bring the art of who they are into everything they do; whether that’s drinking a coffee, driving a car, giving a hug, or the way they receive a compliment. They do things with presence, from a place of quiet confidence.

You might be able to bring someone to mind right now:
a yoga teacher whose class leaves your whole body exhaling,
a café owner who knows how to make you feel seen,
a therapist who carries themself with grace and calm,
a friend who communicates with compassion and love,
or a colleague whose energy and dedication for what they do uplifts those around them.

They’re doing something that appears effortless on the surface. But it’s not really what they do. It’s how they do it. Their essence, soul, and confidence are stitched through the simplest of moments.

That’s what stays with you; because you feel it.

And here’s what’s beautiful about this: you, too, can move more from this place. From your centre, your true self. And you can experience the ease that comes from living this way.

Internal Vs External ‘Me’?

Lately, I’ve been having lots of conversations with clients and friends who are moving into something new: launching businesses, changing careers, or simply entering a fresh season of life, becoming a parent or starting a new venture.

And it’s at these edges, between the old and the not-yet, that the questions sometimes start to whisper:

“What’s my niche?”
“How do I stand out?”
“Where do I fit in?”

The trouble with this mindset is that we begin to fracture, showing different versions of ourselves depending on who’s watching. We start to bend and mould, not out of genuine growth, but out of fear; trying to become exactly what we think others want us to be. This approach to living can sometimes bring an uncomfortable inner conflict and feelings of self-betrayal, as we sacrifice our true values in exchange for validation and acceptance.

A good test of alignment might be this:
If someone followed you for 48 hours, in private and in public, would it be obvious what you value and who you are?
It’s about integration, which is just living with integrity. When your inner values are woven into your outer actions, and the life you lead reflects what you truly believe.

There’s a real power in those moments when you begin to live in the world the way you live when no one is watching; when you have the courage to share what deeply matters to you, and to let that be visible in how you show up, speak, create, and connect. Let the thread of your truth run through everything: from how you write an email, to how you pause and breathe in a moment of overwhelm, to how you speak to a stranger or a loved one.

That’s the essence we feel in others and it’s what becomes magnetic in you.

The Looking-Glass Self: Why We Lose Touch With Who We Are

When we compare ourselves to others, the word competition comes up quickly.
And then, especially in business, the dreaded lingo associated with marketing and algorithms. And before you know it, your ‘offering’ (even in relationships) starts being shaped by what you think people want from you, not what you truly want to give.

Even parenting can become a comparison game. Suddenly, the way you raise your children feels like it’s up for debate. You scan the room (or the feed on the group chat) and start measuring. To feel like you belong, you look to others for the rules, just like being back at school, matching the fashion or the music just to feel accepted.

But it’s upside down.
Because the world around you? It never stays still.

The market changes.
The rules and expectations shift.
The systems that once praised you will rewrite their criteria by Monday morning.

The only way to stay anchored is to return to what remains constant; your values.

Trying to Fit In? Here’s Why It Never Works for Long

Trying to guess how others are seeing you,
then trying to decode the system by which you’re being measured,
and then twisting yourself to meet that invisible standard?

It’s exhausting. And ultimately, it’s a thankless path.

And this theme comes up everywhere.
This plays out in business, in romantic relationships, in art, in parenthood, in leadership.
Any path where you're looking outward to decide if you're enough.

That’s why I come back to this quote by Charles Horton Cooley:
“I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am.” Read that again. It lands deeper each time.

This idea, known as the looking-glass self, speaks to how easily we begin to see ourselves through imagined reflections. Not just through our own eyes, or even through others’ but through the version of ourselves we think others are seeing. It’s no wonder we get lost. Especially when stepping into something new, it can feel safer to mirror the crowd than to root into your own voice.

But your power lives in the remembering, not the performing.

What Actually Makes You Magnetic

Come back to what matters, and why it matters to you.

Think about what you do on a daily basis that truly lights you up.
And then ask yourself:
Why does that matter to me?

Maybe…

• You’re choosing to be healthy because you want to be around for your children for as long as possible; to watch them grow, thrive, and find their way.
  That’s devotion. And it’s evergreen.

• You teach yoga, and your deepest intention is to help people leave your class feeling safe in their own skin, more peaceful, more grounded.
  That’s your essence. Your gift. It travels with you into every pose, each cue, every playlist, every goodbye.

• You’re a parent, and what matters most to you is creating a home where your children feel safe, heard, and loved for exactly who they are, not who the world tells them they should be. That intention shows up in the quiet choices: how you listen, how you apologise, how you model care and boundaries. That’s your legacy. Not the Pinterest-worthy lunchboxes(!), but the deep sense of belonging your child carries with them.

• You’ve started a café, not just to serve drinks, but to create a space where people feel remembered, where someone knows their name and their order and holds space for them, no matter what kind of day they’re having.
  That’s your uniqueness. And no amount of branding can fake it.

• You’re a coach, and what truly moves you is helping someone remember their worth. You’re holding a mirror. You’re walking beside someone as they come home to themselves. That’s your gift.

These qualities are not products or commodities. And they cannot, (even if you are an Alex Hormozi of the world…) be packaged into a marketing funnel.

They’re the way you bring your soul into the everyday.

And this is your USP, your unique selling point.
You don’t need to chase it, but create from it.

A Practice for Remembering Who You Are

This week, before you share, create or plan, try this:
Ask yourself:

“What do I really want to offer here?”
“What matters most to me in this moment?”

Let the answer come right from your true self.

You don’t need a niche - you are your niche! What started you on this path in the first place? Share from what you love and live, and your people will find you.

Final thoughts:

Big hugs,

PS. Thank you to Em and Kasie who inspired this article and inspire me in the way they show up every day.

If you’d like to take this deeper…
Here are a few of the most popular free resources used by this community.