Why Time Travelling Helps You to Create Unbreakable Belief | Check in No. 7

Hello there,

I am so glad you’re here. If you are reading this then you’re not the kind of human who gives up when stuff gets sticky!

So join me for some time travelling and I’ll meet you back in the present at the end with some cool freebies to help you along your path.

Last week’s newsletter brought in the most new readers so far, which tells me it really landed. It spoke to the physical, emotional, and mental fatigue that can settle in at this time of year. I hope it helped you identify the type of tired you’ve been feeling, so you could begin to plan and take the right kind of rest.

But still, this week, in my client sessions and through your messages and DMs, I’ve heard a recurring thread:

• A lingering heaviness.

• Procrastination. Struggling to actually ‘do the thing.’

• A knowing that this state isn’t serving you, but a fog that just won’t seem to lift.

If that’s where you are right now, this letter is for you.

Something to try this week:
Time travel. Both directions.

Right, grab your time machine and let’s go!

Revisit the past (but don’t stay there!)

Yes, coaching is forward-facing, absolutely. But sometimes, revisiting and acknowledging how far we’ve come is a powerful foundation for movement. In fact, it can be essential.

Because when you remember all the things you once feared but lived through, it builds evidence.
Evidence that you do have the tools, the courage, the resilience to meet whatever comes next.

What we are most afraid of has already happened – in some form. That’s why it lives in the body, not just the mind.

In yoga, we call these imprints samskaras; the emotional residue left by past experiences.
They shape our patterns, our reactions, even our sense of identity.

It may have been a moment of rejection. A time you felt unsafe. An experience that taught you to stay small, stay quiet, avoid any possible negative feedback by staying in the parameters of societal ‘rules’ and expectations.

These stories helped you survive. But they’re not who you are. And they can keep you from expanding and growing.

Samskaras can be softened. New patterns can be formed. New stories can be told.

Often, the first step in that mindset shift is recognising how far you’ve already come.

You already have a track record of getting through the hard things right? Think about it, at least a few of these will apply to you:

• You’ve started school, made friends, walked into new places on your own.

• You’ve left home, navigated independence, figured out how to cope (even when you weren’t sure you could).

• You’ve sat exams, submitted applications, gone to interviews.

• You’ve started jobs, changed jobs, maybe even quit jobs.

• You’ve gone through breakups. Chosen to walk away or had someone walk away from you.

• You’ve experienced the loss or illness of someone you love.

• You’ve had your heart broken. Felt rejected. Had your feelings misunderstood.

• You’ve failed at something. Made a mistake. Been disappointed.

• You’ve struggled financially, emotionally, mentally, and found a way to keep going.

And yet, here you are. Still growing. Still learning. Still trying. Still here.

Revisit the past to help you remember your strength.

But don’t stay there.

Let it remind you who you are and what you’re capable of.

Keep reading for your free letter-writing tool.

Now we’ve been back, hold onto your hat…let’s go forwards.

Time travel to the future

Often in recovery or personal growth work, people are encouraged to connect with their future-self as a way of rewiring neural pathways while forming healthier habits.

But this isn’t always easy.

Firstly, because change is hard, messy, uncomfortable and sometimes feels downright inconvenient. There will be moments during your 12-week (or 12 year!) journey when you’ll want to get off the train you bought a ticket for, and go back to a place that feels familiar. That’s completely normal. In fact, your nervous system often equates familiarity with safety (yep, grrrr... frustrating, right?!). Even if what’s familiar isn’t helpful, it can still feel safer than the unknown.

It’s also tough when you’re feeling stuck or caught in a loop, because that’s when it becomes hardest to hold a clear vision. You can lose sight of what you truly want or where you’re heading. And then comes that sense of hopelessness.

That’s where this question comes in:

So, how do we connect what we want right now with what we ultimately want in the future?

We don’t connect with our future selves. We see that version of ourselves as a different person because we live in the present-in the version of us we know now.

Trying to connect with the concept that ‘It’s me who needs to make sacrifices and go through challenges for this person, also me, who doesn’t exist. Temptations are in the present, so these pull us away from our goals and therefore what I want my future self to be.

In the moment, we might just want to curl up on the sofa and watch six episodes of something that helps us escape. And that’s OK sometimes (remember last week’s letter about honouring the right kind of rest for your needs!) But when we’re working towards change, it can really help to anchor our actions to the future they’re shaping.

Ask yourself:
Which version of me am I reinforcing with this choice?
Which future self am I creating by repeating this habit over and over?

What does that look like in real life?

/

What does the decision to go to bed now (rather than staying up for another two hours watching TV) have to do with my goal of feeling better and being more present and patient with my kids?

• If I stay up, I’ll likely struggle to get to sleep and then feel groggy in the morning. I won’t want to get up and move, and my patience will be lower.

• If I go to bed now, even if I don’t fall asleep immediately, I’ll be resting. Tomorrow, I’ll feel more regulated, more energised, and more able to meet the day with calm.

Another one:
What impact does staying home every day have on my goal of building community, feeling connected, and eventually finding a relationship?

• If I stay inside, I’ll mostly engage through screens. I’ll miss out on fresh air, eye contact, energy exchange.

• If I go out, even just to a café or co-working space, I create the possibility for small, meaningful connection. And I nourish my body and nervous system too.

For me personally, I find it most helpful to think about both the short-term and longer-term versions of my future self.

Sometimes, it’s as simple as:
“Tomorrow-me will be proud that I chose rest over pushing through.”
Or:
“I said no to that plan out of self-respect, not fear of rejection.”

Other times, I think about my next birthday. What would birthday-me thank me for?
Maybe it’s:
“Thank you for showing up consistently to your business, for writing the newsletter even when it was hard, because now there’s a community here that feels alive and aligned.”

At the end of your reflection in the letter writing exercise (see below for the link!), I invite you to distil your motivation into a few clear words, your anchoring words.

These are the phrases you can return to when you feel unmotivated, overwhelmed, or off-track. They represent what really matters to you.

For example:
If your goal is to improve your health so you can have more energy and patience for your kids, and feel more confident in your own skin…
Your anchoring words might be: Kids – Confidence – Calm

If your goal is to change career so you can provide a better standard of living for your children, feel more fulfilled, and build a sense of community or family through your work…
Your anchoring words might be: Security – Family – Fulfilment

If your goal is to put yourself in more open, real spaces to build connection and allow for meaningful relationships…
Your anchoring words might be: Love – Courage – Belonging

Let your words be your shorthand for your why. Something you can say to yourself when it’s time to choose what’s next. Every time you reroute to this new path you strengthen those connections and literally rewire your brain! Put them on your fridge, your mirror, or your phone screen and remember them!

For your downloadable resource to guide you through the past and future letters and reflections, click here!

Come back to the present, for this is the gift

How are you feeling after travelling to the past and future today?

Take a moment to reflect on that.

•Sacred Pause for reflecting on your awesomeness and resilience here•

Presence is the bridge to joy. And joy is a springboard into positive action.

We can create and absorb energy from the positive feelings we generate and use them as fuel for the next move.

The trouble is, we get so wrapped up in self-criticism, guilt, and comparison that we forget: the moment we are in right now is, in fact, safe.

Just because we want something to change, it doesn’t mean we can’t also hold contentment for where we are and experience true joy in the here and now.

The beauty of duality is that two things can be true at once:
We can feel genuine happiness in the present moment and still hold a desire to change our lives: to grow, to evolve, and to live with deeper purpose.

So pause.

Come back to now.

What can you feel, see, or savour in this moment?

Joy isn’t something we earn, it’s something we let in.

One of my favourite poems by Donna Ashworth speaks of joy circling the house, always close by. All it needs is for us to open the window and let it envelop us.(See link at the end for this beautiful poem).

The ease joy brings, even fleetingly, can create just enough space between you and your overwhelm or fatigue. It sparks energy to keep going like the first domino in a rally.

Lightness of heart experienced in joy brings lightness to your being and this ripples outwards. Creating your future self from these moments will be building with a foundation of gratitude in your heart, rather than building from anything external or coming from fear.

Don’t run from something painful, run towards something life-giving.

Notice the difference when you feel pulled towards an action from your heart space rather than when you are escaping, avoiding something else.

I asked some of my clients and friends to share moments of joy this week. Here are a few:

• Waking up in a warm bed with access to clean drinking water

• My cosy winter coat to wear in the storm

• A phone call from my dad

• My daughter’s giggle in the morning when woken up by her brother with tickles

• Seeing the leaves fall and swirl in the wind this morning

What are yours today? Pause and notice one right now.

I’d love to hear your moments of joy too. Share them on Instagram and tag me, so we can spread a little more awareness of the everyday joy that surrounds us.

Also, keep getting in touch with things you’d find helpful. I love creating bespoke resources that are useful for this growing community of lovely humans.

With hugs for past, present and future you,

P.S. If you're curious about coaching or feel ready to explore how it could support you, I offer a FREE discovery call for every client. You can book one here if you’re ready to take the first step. Or, have a look around my website to learn more.

Free resources for you

Hey there - thanks for staying present with me all the way down here!

 And thank you for gifting yourself the time to reflect on the path you’ve walked, the path you’re walking, and the path still to come.

Whether you’ve looked back to honour your resilience, imagined your future with care, or landed softly into this present moment...

Remember, the desire to grow doesn’t cancel out the beauty of where you are now.

Don’t let your longing for change prevent you from savouring now.
Joy, peace, and purpose are available right here.

Enjoy hearing the full poem by Donna Ashworth and build your next move from a place of gratitude.

▶️ Joy Chose You

💖